I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
