I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
