Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
