i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
