It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
