I CAN MOONWALK!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
