at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
