So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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