remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
