Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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