someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
