But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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