Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
