Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
