Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
