Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
