We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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