Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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