So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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