Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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