bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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