i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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