physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
