Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize