woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize