Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
