NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize
