Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
