:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
