I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
