so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
