Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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