I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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