I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
