I faked an abortion last night.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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