i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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