I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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