We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
