i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
