I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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