hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
