Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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