One girl and one boy is just not enough.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
