Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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