dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
