PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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