When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Text me some of your sweat
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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