Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
