i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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