She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
he's gonorrhea incarnate
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
What happened to fro yo and sex?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
