What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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