Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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