whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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