It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
