I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
