Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize