Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
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