I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
