My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize