i don't like sucking hair
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
