that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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