so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
where am i from again
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
