Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
