So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Also, beer. Big fan.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Randomize
