Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
