You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I believe in your delicious
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
