you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
