the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
