: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
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